I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
