I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
ttyl tear gas
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
