Already got asked if we're dating
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
