Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
