exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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