you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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