Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
