well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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