If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
tell me about the eggs
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