so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize