based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
