his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I FOUND THE LEGS
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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