dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
vagina is talking i cant
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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