i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
