We're facebook friends in real life
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
