gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
