Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize