My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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