My hand turned me down
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
