Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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