Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
