she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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