Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
