so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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