So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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