My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I love you. Go after that dick
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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