btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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