Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Fuck appropriateness.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
don't judge my taste in strippers
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
