Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
