it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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