I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
