i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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