So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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