I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
