I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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