Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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