Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Still dying that you shit outside
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
