The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize