So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I need to sanitize my soul.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
