I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
