I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
