you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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