i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
