Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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