I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
