Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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