Where did you get a picture of my penis
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
