The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
