With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i wish my penis had a tongue
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It's never too late to be topless.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
