I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
