yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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