Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
