Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
