It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
