i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
