Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
