Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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