Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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