I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
